


Without doubt

by Webtrinsic



Category: Iron Man (Movies), Marvel Cinematic Universe, Spider-Man - All Media Types, Spider-Man: Homecoming (2017)
Genre: Angst, Depressed Peter Parker, Emotional Hurt, Hurt No Comfort, Insecurity, Sad Ending, Worried Tony Stark
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2018-03-12
Updated: 2018-03-12
Packaged: 2019-03-30 03:41:38
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,712
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/13941843
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Webtrinsic/pseuds/Webtrinsic
Summary: Tony Stark does not care about him, at least that's what he tells himself.





	Without doubt

**Author's Note:**

> call me Zoey cause this is fic 101 woooooooooooooo

He hadn't spoken to Tony Stark since he'd asked him to be better. There wasn't any reason to because he was nothing to the man. Nothing more than the very thing he feared he could be when he got his powers.

A weapon.

Tony Stark had called when he needed a weapon to fight a war he couldn't win on his own. He was the merchant of death after all. Of course, when you find a kid who could lift a bus with his bare hands, you'd sweep him up, promise him you would be there for him. And once his work was done. You’d neglect him.

You’d leave him with a gift, and tell him to keep in touch. It wasn't though because Happy didn't care for him either.

Happy was just another step in keeping him tethered until he was ready to work again. That was it, that was all.

Tony didn't want to break the cycle of shame, he said he did but he lied. It was a ploy to let him know Tony knew he saw him as a father figure.

  
It was the bait to draw him in, tug at his heartstrings and make him compliant.

He hated that it worked, and couldn't help but loathe how much he still loved him as if he were family. As if he really cared for him. Maybe it was because for as long as he remembered, he cared for Tony and just thought, being as naive as he was, that Tony would care for him too.

\---

Ned excitedly tugged his arm as they walked down the school's steps, a familiar car parked just out front. His tether standing idly by, and suddenly he remembered he'd left something in his locker.

Only he really didn't.

"Cover for me," He told Ned, hopping back up the steps, passing the lockers and making his way out the back.

A stuttering call from Ned a few minutes later was all he needed to hear. And he knew then he'd likely have to hold off on going home. Though he was sorry for making the man come all this way. But should he really?

He was a waste of their time from the start. It probably just angered them that this time the waste didn't bring anything back to them.

\---

Maybe they didn't get the memo. May was always telling them that he wasn't home; Never coming out to the car when they tried to pick him up. Not picking up the phone, no matter how many times they called.

He wanted to be in the man's life, but not how Tony wanted him. He wanted to be a person that someone cared about. He wanted to be worth it because he wasn't the man's equal, and he wasn't the man's family.

\---

Tony tried not to take it personally, especially when the door had been closed behind him and he knew that'd he'd just missed him again. Or Peter just didn't have the time to talk. Not even for a second.

He didn't want to admit his heart clutched painfully tight with hope when he heard the school bell ring. In his head, he could see the boy coming down the steps. It was almost enough to make him smile, but not when Ned came down the steps, alone.

The kids gawking at him didn't help, especially when he talked with Ned and they all heard who he was really here for. They were genuinely surprised. As if Peter wasn't worth his time, _wasn't worth him_. Could they not see him the way Tony saw him? How he was perfect in every way, albeit shy and a little reckless. But it was Peter, and that made him perfect, that alone made him better.

How could they not see it?

The kid, Flash, looked appalled at the mere name.Tony hated it, hated how his chest burned with anger.

He just wanted to talk. To make things right.

Caring hurt, it always hurt. That's why he didn't want to get close to the kid in the first place. But he did because he couldn't help it. He'd been like Peter once, fawning over his hero until the day he got to meet him. But Peter was pure, so god damn pure that he felt as if he got to close he'd break harder than the rest have.

He didn't want to imagine the boy with bright eyes and a bashful smile broken by his hand, _by his mistakes_. But he had once seen the tears he'd caused. It was all because Peter wanted to be like him when he'd already been so much better.

He shouldn't have stooped to such a level, but that wasn't it. He didn't want to tell himself he was wrong, and Peter had been right to do what he did. The FBI couldn't handle those weapons and Peter knew that, but he was a selfish man and didn't want that broken boy's body on his mind when he'd come to care for him so much.

He didn't want to lose what he'd been gifted before he really got the chance to unwrap it. To figure out how the kid liked his sandwiches, and what his favorite Star Wars movie was, and where his admiration for Tony Stark came from.

He wanted to know because just maybe he thought Peter could fill something in him that he'd been missing. A little piece of youth he'd always wanted but never had, but Peter wouldn't get that either. Not without him. Maybe he'd been upset because he really did want to be better, and in Peter, he saw himself but... _better_. And he couldn't help but ask for more... for himself.

His achievements could be his own, and Peter would be happy. And that's what mattered, but he fucked up. Peter wasn't happy, and it was all because he thought he couldn't ask himself not to be selfish.

\---

A thwip and splat of his webs sounded off as he swung from some of the taller buildings that lined the city’s skies. Taxis and the nightly traffic honking their horns at one person who decided to merge all the way across the street.

The music thrumming from a few restaurants and clubs making the crisp air crackle through the harsh winds blowing east. Normal sounds that let him know the city was alive until that noise came from the darkness of the night. Letting him know who was displaced, not in their element as he was.

Tony Stark was here, the repulsors in his suit giving him away. He should really look into some repressors, it's not like he couldn't do it. Stopping in a bow, Peter stretched his muscles. Looking at the new suit he'd tailored. It was identical to his first, but that one was decommissioned. Torn and bloodied, locked away in the latch in the ceiling. But he couldn't bring himself to part with it.

It reminded him of his first real fight and all the pain that came along with it. It understood him in that even if he'd got it fixed and had the blood bleached away, the fabric would never be the same.

"Long time no see kiddo," The man huffed in laughter, joyful that Peter was here in front of him. Finally here.

"Yeah, did you need me for something?" Peter asked, quieter than anything he should be saying in his uniform.

Tony startled at the coldness, and his heart struck at the confirmation of his assumption. No, he wasn't there for anything more than Peter.

"No, I just thought we could talk," He spoke slowly, unsure if he was treading rough waters especially when the first bouts of rain started dripping onto his head.

Peter turned his head toward the man, figuring it was enough in that he couldn't find his voice.

"We should get out of the rain, you'll get sick," Tony prompted, smiling lightly in a show of affection.

Peter could feel himself break and looked away, before tipping forward and letting himself drop. Not caring when he heard a startled gasp escape the inventor as he expertly dove. A quick reflex caught him and pulled him higher until he stood upon a taller building, regaining his footing when the rain proved to hinder his landing.

"I still have a few hours left on patrol. You should go," Peter suggested, hearing another landing breach the roof.

Tony frowned, frustrated. Watching as Peter prepared to jump again. His voice cutting through the silence before the boy could disappear.

"Wait!"

Peter stopped, head bowed before he stretched. Turning to look at the man, not bothering to remove the mask. Anything not to seem weak.

"Could you please just wait for a second?" Peter recognized the tiredness in the man's tone, a defeat unlike any he'd ever heard.

And there was only one thing Peter could say before he shouted and broke and finally told the man before him what exactly was wrong.

"Why?"

"Why?" Tony parrotted confused. Peter should know what he wanted to talk about.

"Yes!" Peter broke the silence louder, enough to the point it took Tony a second to catch up with the once quiet hero.

"Why? Why are you here checking up on me? Is this a social call? A work call? 'Cause last I knew you didn't give a shit about me!" Peter rambled startling the hero with his cursing.

"What am I to you? A weapon? A joke? Why do you do this? You lie and you make people trust you and then you leave them. You leave them! And then, and then you come here trying to act like you care about me getting sick or hurt. But you don't! It's my fault for being a complete idiot and thinking it was possible for the great Tony Stark to give a shit about poor little insignificant Peter Parker." He laughed brokenly until he sobbed.

"You show up and promise everything is going to be okay, but it's not. And I'm alone all over again, and the last thing I think I could ever do is trust you again."

And only then did Tony realize, he'd fucked up beyond repair.


End file.
